Irish Boys on Tour

This blog update will be pictureless I'm afraid, as the any available pictures cannot be found by a man of my limited talents. So please try and keep attentive even without all the brightly coloured pictures children. Last weekend I joined my provincial brothers Eddie Dunbar, Stephen Shanahan and Dylan O'Brien to pedal our bikes around Wales. The weekend got off to a bad start almost immediately, when the in-house communication between teammates broke down. I was set to be collected in Carrick at "six", which I interpreted as 6pm, as in tradition, Team Munster's policy is to arrive at races later rather than sooner, when in truth it meant 6am. It was probably the best wake-up call I have ever gotten though, I basically jumped out of bed and landed in my socks. I packed like I was late for mass and we hit the road, hard. Whilst Dad was getting me to Rosslare in under 60 minutes, I was too busy lamenting over all the non-essential essentials that I had forgotten. Turbo Trainer? No. Energy Powder? No. Towel? No. Boxer shorts? Hell no. But I made up for all this foolishness by packing three arm-warmers. Even my bike was still dirty. All the things that I had in my head to do all day were prematurely cast aside. And it wasn't like I could borrow gear from my "fun-sized" teammates Dunbar or O'Brien. A cloud of shame fell over me as my bike was secured on the roof of Tom Shanahan's car, not only was it still dirty going to a race, but rather more 'fred-ishly' I still had my saddle-bag attached. Had this been an Irish race, I'd have lost serious respect points. But in Wales, I had no respect to lose. I had breakfast aboard the ferry, which included a severely moreish croissant. We then had 210 minutes to kill, the vast amount of which was filled by me, saying "Oh yeah, I forgot my .... as well."

Each time we stopped along our journey to 'Cwmbran', the search for free WiFi was on. Once the WiFi situation was sussed, then began the search for food. We were pretty much like cavemen, if cavemen had access to WiFi way back when. We had yet to find a good radio station, and by good, I mean a station that played 'Macklemore'. The race HQ of 'Ebbw Vale' was on the way to our home away from home, so it would have been stupid of us not to check out the sign-on and the time-trial course. The word time-trial was used loosely to describe the course. It took me around 9 minutes 30 seconds to reach the foot of the final climb. The run in to the climb was fast, I was averaging 35-40 mph for the majority of it, but then when I came upon the climb that very much changed. The only way I could describe the final climb to those in my area would be like 'Seskin Hill', but exposed to the wind. It was like a ladder put there by the devil, with naught but his evil sheep for company. Over there the sheep don't go "Baaa!", instead it seems they go "Haaa!", mocking you.  For the first time in my cycling days, I got scared going up a hill. I was crawling in the 39x25, and yet it was scary to think that riders could go up this in the big ring. Unlike 'Seskin' though, those kind of hills are a dime a dozen over there. Motorway drags are a rare occurrence from what I can see. All the drags over there have escape lanes into sand traps for runaway vehicles. Our neutralised zone for 2 of the 5 stages consisted of a long descent, with the group regularly hitting 40 mph. By the bottom of the descent I had to tighten the quick release on the brake calipers, as about 2mm had worn off them. The peloton was like a giant sea, ebbing, flowing, crashing, flicking from left to right. No one rider moving without taking others with him. Constantly moving, lengthening, shortening, widening and thinning out.

Stage 2 looked like a hard one, the final climb on paper looked pretty testing. 8 miles into the stage came the first crash. It happened of the left-hand side of the road and flicked over to the right, and in doing so, took 4 spokes out of Eddie's rear wheel. My intentions in this race weren't set in stone, but Eddie's were. Highest overall placing possible. I stopped and swapped my good rear wheel onto his bike and pushed him off, all the while he was imploring me to "Look at my hand!" In his haste to get the wheel out he pierced his hand with one of the snapped spokes. The contusion was a good couple of inches long. I waited to get service myself and then set off, but to stop again 300m later to reset my brake calipers which had been knocked out of place. I now had a 2 minute gap to close up, on a bunch that had averaged 48 kph in the first hour. But they must have averaged 50+ kph in the second half hour, as I was doing over 50 kph for 33 kilometres before I caught them again. And when I caught them we were on the Welsh B-roads, lined with short steep climbs that set a deep burn in your thighs. I did not make it to the final climb with the main peloton, my excursions in the cavalcade had left me drained and dehydrated. I didn't drink enough whilst on the bumper of the car, but sweated a lot. The final climb to the line was again steep and again made harder by the mocking of Welsh sheep. It was 6km long, with the first 3km at about 8-10%. It then levelled off to about 6% for 2km and then kicked up steeply for the final 1km to the line. I haven't yet looked at my Garmin file to see the accurate percentages, but I think it would just give me nightmares anyway.

I didn't sleep well that night. Maybe it was because I was dehydrated, or maybe it was because the air in our room had been replaced by pure methane. I'm pretty sure there's now a hole in the ozone layer above the Premier Inn in Cwmbran. Stage 3 was only an hour long, but a circuit race, so the hour-mark would be a welcome sight at the end of it all. A turbo trainer would have been useful to warm-up with, but a good night's sleep was what I really needed. My concentration levels were shot, I fell asleep in the car on the way to the start. Double British Champion Chris Lawless won the stage in an intimidating display of power. Once I went out the back I essentially did a time-trial, keeping it at a set heart-rate and catching lapped riders, so even though I went out the back I moved up ten places on GC. 81st place is a real thing to shout about. 3 stages down, 2 to go. Stage 4 was a flat stage, with two long dual carriageway sections. I wanted to get into a breakaway as my race so far was less than fruitful. But my legs in the first 20km were very sluggish and slow to react. The top end power came back after 20km but the break had gone and had 40 seconds. I wasn't going to bridge a 40 second gap so I wasn't happy to have missed the move. A very boring and uneventful spin along dual-carriageways later the stage was over, and the magicians of Team Munster managed to get 5 bikes onto a roof rack built only to take 3. Chapeau, in the words of Kelly. We got back to our farmyard/room and set about town, to find a restaurant of cyclist proportions. And boy what a find we made. A restaurant called 'Harvester' turned out to be so much more that it seemed. Their dinners were cheap on price, but not on flavour, and an all-you-can-eat salad bar meant pasta was aplenty. Free re-fills on drinks and free WiFi were the icing on the cake. If they opened in Ireland they'd clean up completely. We got home just in time to miss Nicolas Roche's Vuelta stage win. I slept much better that night, we were set to tackle Tumble Mountain. A gruelling 7km climb, with an average gradient of 8% and a maximum of 15% it would suit the people light of the growth hormone. We were told to expect the main group to be 3 riders strong at the halfway mark, but no such thing happened. I don't even recall the second KoH. Damn near all the riders that set off made it to the base of Tumble in the group and then steadily went out the back one by one. Once again I set off at a pace I knew I could hold without blowing up and caught dropped riders on the way up the slope. The race was run, winners were crowned and volunteers thanked and thanked again. A little bit of happiness crept over the scene at the top of the mountain, when Eddie proclaimed that today was the first time he got his arse kicked all year. If getting your arse kicked means coming 5th overall then I'm stuck for words.

We then had 12 hours to kill until our ferry departed for home. Most of which was spent laughing at Beavis and Butthead (Dylan and Stephen) as they talked in code. And the question that was asked of us everyday from the moment we joined forces still remained. It seems as though it will always remain within the ranks of Team Munster, no matter which riders come and go in the future and no matter how the race is panning out for us. It is the eternal question - "Lads, do ye want any fruit?"

I feel as though we owe a great debt of gratitude to Tom and Kevin for their work over to get us to this race, and especially over the course of the weekend. We weren't 4 lads and 2 men, we were 6 Irishmen, taking Wales by storm and having a whale of a time doing so.

Until next time,

Seán.

PS, Here are my top tips for doing anything in Wales.

• Listen only to Kiss FM 101.
• Assume that all hills will be requiring a maximum front gearing of a 39 ring.
• Do not attempt to pronounce any Welsh words, try quietly in your head if you must.
• Welsh sheep aren't as tough as Irish sheep, they will happily relinquish their ground to you.
• It is imperative that your brakes are in good condition, whether it be the brakes on your car or bike. They will be needed!
• Eat at Harvester, only at Harvester. And smother everything in their Hot Chili Sauce.
• Don't worry if you're hard of hearing and want to watch Mrs. Brown's Boys, the Welsh kindly run it in English as well as having English subtitles.
• If you don't understand what a Welsh person says for fear of their accent, it is acceptable to say 'what' at most twice.
• Downhills are your friend, hit them flat-out all the time. And remember, the faster you go, the less likely you are of crashing!
• Respect the Welsh terrain, it will break you before you break it.

National Championships 2013, Omagh.

As the 2013 season's end draws ever nearer, I'm squeezing in nearly every race I can, making up for lost time while I got my exams out of the way. Speaking of exams, I was the opposite of most, I was more frustrated after receiving my results than I was beforehand. While others made their way to schools around the country, clammy handed, I was as cool as a frozen cucumber. I saw no need for fretting as at this stage it was beyond my control, there was nothing I could do to change the outcome (at least not with my limited funds anyway.) The white seal of the envelope was broken away to reveal results that gave me 55 more CAO points than I needed. That's 55 points worth of extra, pointless time spent studying. 55 points worth of time spent with my head in my Biology book, time which could have been put to great use on the bike. That's not a very efficient use of time. Those ass-kickings I was getting might not have been as bad were it not for that wasted "55 points window" of time. Oh well. 

This weekend's travels was the most of the year, pushing The Lacey Cup in second place. The venue was Omagh, and the promoting club, Omagh Wheelers Cycling Club. We lodged ourselves 30 miles away in Monaghan town with relatives, which meant food was aplenty. They even obliged me a double bed, and unlimited access to their dog, who was like a big teddy bear. We arrived Thursday evening, and got up early Friday morning to recce the TT course, whilst Mam stayed at the house to ensure I'd have plenty to fuel up with for the following day's exertions. Is fíor gur iarracht chlainne é, tríd is tríd. (See lads, the phrases you learn for your Irish Oral Exam do come in future situations!) The TT course was very fast on the way out, a tailwind aiding us along and then on the return leg, a block headwind. It was like riding through a fruitcake. I was only taking it handy on the recce but even so, it wasn't easy. The surface was excellent in most places, but rough in some. We then made the return 30-mile journey, which weirdly took us 50 minutes. Even now I don't understand why. If you've ever been in a car with my father you'll know that 60mph is a stately pace. We weren't hanging around at all but even so 50 minutes was a good time to make it in. Maybe the miles are longer up North. They certainly felt it on Saturday. 

I woke early on Saturday, and got up in time to eat breakfast at 8 o'clock. We loaded the car, and hit the road, and reached our destination 90 mins before the off. By 12:09 I was off the turbo and by 12:11 I was at the start-house, waiting to pound the pedals and get aero. I tried as best I could to keep a lid on it on the outward leg, but even by the 6km mark Eddie had taken 40 seconds out of me. I had to ignore the voices in my head at this point and just concentrate on the heart-rate. By the 15km mark his gap had extended to 1:10. I hadn't started to push on just yet, so I hoped against hope that he might die into the wind on the return leg. But Eddie doesn't die, he's like a smaller Terminator. In the end he won by a margin of 25 seconds over Mark Downey, and 2:07 on me. I was completely oblivious to coming 3rd, I thought I was on a crap day. The wind on the return leg really messed with my head, in the last 5-6km the wind had gotten the better of me. My heart-rate was bang on, but my speed was so low, there were times when I was only just keeping it above 20mph. The 'whoosh' of the disc spurred me on so I decided to ignore the speed and just keep the cadence and heart-rate up. Which was easier said than done. Crossing the line I wasn't happy at all, the wind had really infected my brain. The key to a good time-trial is keeping the head, and I didn't keep the head. I let the wind get to me. I didn't have the cojones that I normally would have to go extremely deep, I felt I was out of the medals, I was angry. Instead of using that anger to fuel the fire, all it was doing was wasting my energy and costing me time. 3rd was a big surprise, as my mentality had let me down big time. Even if I did go as deep as possible I doubt I'd have made the jump into 2nd, the gap was quite big. But still to not have given it my best shot still plagues my mind. I'd have only made up maybe another 15-20 seconds. My uncle was in the car following me and seemed to enjoy it thoroughly. He saw it as a real 'man's sport' compared to football, which is high praise from a man with three footballing sons and who is heavily involved himself, even going as far to say "it's not like you can pass it off and get a break, you've gotta do it all yourself!" But then again, I am his favourite nephew. 

Pacing myself, already 40 seconds down.

Back at the house, I wanted an ice-bath. But I didn't feel as though I deserved one. Ice-baths are for those who finish the job, not let the job finish them. So I stuck on Charlie's Angels and put the feet up. Cameron Diaz was a welcome sight after 55 minutes on the road. I fueled up for the following day and headed up to bed early. 

4km to go.

We arrived and parked up, if only it really were that easy. The car park/field was already lined with cars and eager looking cyclists. But no, this wasn't good enough for us Hahessys. Or one Hahessy in particular should I digress. But all was resolved 15 minutes later. On behalf of the good name of Hahessy and as a representative for Iverk Produce Carrick Wheelers I'd like to apologise. You can't take him anywhere. The queue for Sign-On was much longer for the road-race, as the junior ranks alone had a field of 50 riders. The organisers were very generous with where they placed the 500m and 200m signs, the gap to the line seemed much bigger than indicated. Dylan Foley and Eddie Dunbar were like conjoined twins for the day, stuck to one another. Each good move was cancelled out by one of the favourites who wanted to be in the move. Such was the routine for the day. Until such a break went away containing no clear cut favourites, but no slouches either. They worked hard at it, they weren't getting the time checks we were. They pulled out 2 minutes on us in 10 miles. Race over. Let the winter training spin commence. People say that racing is supposed to be fun. And although were were laughing and smiling back in the bunch (or grupetto at this stage) the smiles were to mask our frustration. It is my personal opinion that the course wasn't hard enough to take tactics out of the equation and let the legs do the talking. 

Chatting with Craig Arrigan about poetry, we're big softies really.

We left as soon as I had changed into warm clothing, stopped off in Monaghan to collect bags, and then hit the road again, Carrick-bound. We were jammed in traffic for quite a while after the Clare Limerick match, but one of life's greatest little pleasures is to be found in match day traffic, especially if you're lucky enough to be stuck near one of JJ Kavanagh's buses, equipped with free WiFi. Upon discovering this I may have even done "The Carlton" in the backseat of the car. (If you haven't come across the phenomenon that is "The Carlton", I urge you to watch/practice/flail and swing your socks off - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zS1cLOIxsQ8) We arrived home before 10 o'clock, and I don't think I saw 10:30. 

"Y'know like, I'd have won like, but my tyres were inflated too much like..."

Next stop is the Junior Tour of Wales, where I'll be representing the heavyweights along with Stephen Shanahan, Dylan O'Brien and Eddie Dunbar. Wales is very much like Ireland, windy, wet, indecipherable accents and plenty of sheep. So I should feel right at home.

Happy trails,

Seán.

Yes, I am still taller.

The Suir Valley 2.5 Day

The reason it's taken me so long to update this blog is because it's only now, three days later that I've mustered enough strength to push the keyboard's buttons. As I type now, the bike lies sullen in the garage, I haven't even changed my carbon brake pads yet. And that's all because of what happened on the final, 80 miles slog around Tipperary, Cork and Waterford. But we'll get to that, there's three stages worth of writing beforehand, and plus it would pretty much ruin the race report there and then anyway. 

Stage One kicked off in earnest, with 30 miles per hour being hit neutral zone, which was probably a good thing too, as trying to keep 141 riders upright at 10 miles per hour whilst dodging road furniture would have been sketchy. The neutral zone ended at the far side of the Bulmers premises. I'm sure there were more than a few bodies who found a bottle or two of Clonmel's finest more appealing than 70 miles hanging off An Post's rear tubs. I go to school, or should I say 'went to school', in Clonmel, and our bus trundles down the road and gets us to Carrick-on-Suir roughly 20 minutes after departing. We sped into Carrick just 20 minutes after the race began, using just our legs to power the pedals. I was about 30 from the front passing the LIDL store on the way into town, after the first two 90 degree bends I had moved up to 3rd wheel in the bunch. I couldn't compete much with the Seniors on the flats, and on the downhills I was a joke. I don't know if you've ever tried to pedal a bike at 45 miles per hour on a 52x14, but it must have looked hilarious from behind to some lucky chap who had equipped himself with a 54x11 for the weekend.So to gain places I had to get creative, carving up the local bends I know so well. Also I knew from past experience that a break could slip away out of sight after the first Hotspot Sprint on the new bridge. There was already a gap to a big group up the road so I needed to get the thumb out. Having bridged across about a kilometre after the sprint prime, I realised that this group was far too big to get away, unless the main bunch stalled as all the teams were represented. But this didn't happen and the bunch caught the group roughly 3 kilometres later. The heavens had opened and we were now headed towards Portlaw and the first of three KoH's, the fearsome Church Hill. I was well positioned as we swung right in the direction of the village, wanting to be near the front for the hill. But, when we reached Church Hill, which is a testing hill well respected amongst us locals, I realised that in this company Church Hill is really only a drag. It has since been relegated to Church Drag. We had a headwind on the hill, so when we came to swing left onto the open main road a few kilometres later, we would have a crosswind. And crosswinds can be a cyclists greatest ally of his greatest foe, depending on his position and energy levels. I wanted to be well positioned, and well sheltered on this short stretch of road. I made up the places on the way out of the corner and slotted in behind some tall Isle of Man rider, whom I could always call on in my time of need over the weekend. (Thanks for the shelter!) The hill into Templeorum is the closest thing we get to Alpine hills in our locality, as it has two hairpin switchbacks, and usually when I do this spin out training, Templeorum is the easy one of the two, the second ascent of Kilmaganny is the one that hurts. But that day is was the opposite way around, probably because when I do that spin Ryan Sherlock doesn't sit on the front of the bunch. After we raced into and up over Kilmaganny, without too many crashes, we now had a clear run into the line, free of climbs and KoH's. Or so the race route would lead you to believe, the stage was far from over. I knew that the bunch would breath a sigh of relief when they crested the top of the final climb, it was the perfect situation for a breakaway to slip up the road and gain time on their rivals. Which is what I very unhappy to have missed a break containing Seán Downey and Stephen Halpin, their gap remained at 10-15 seconds for 2-3 kilometres. I was tempted to try and jump across, but could feel the breaths of other Junior rider's down my neck. They'd have sat on me all the way across, dragging the bunch with them, so I wasn't budging for the time being. I had a small dig on the short steep hill Glenbower, but to no avail. After an orgy of jumping,chasing and bridging the group remained stubbornly together with 4 kilometres to go. It looked like a bunch sprint, which was a worry for me because I'm not regarded as a sprinter in any sense of the word, but the A3 jersey was still an unsettled matter, so I was prepared to go for it. My legs, especially my thighs were feeling a small bit tight and crampy so whatever power I had would be deployed in the saddle. I positioned myself on notorious sprinter Barry Meade's wheel, then on Jason Prendergast's wheel when he opened the gallop with 250m to go, I kicked out of the saddle to draw level and then sat in the saddle and went for it, trackie style. Jake Kelly from the Isle of Man beat me by a rim's width on the line so as a Junior he would take the red A3 jersey, albeit that the top 5 were still on the same time. So it was still all to play for but still very much all to lose as well. 

Spot the big green thing. 

Stage Two was our normal Sunday club-run, taking in Ballymacaberry, Dungarvan and Carrick-on-Suir again. The first 40 miles of this stage would be called rolly during the winter club runs, but in the Suir Valley I doubt any sprocket except the 14 got used until we got to Carrick. All day there were big groups of riders getting gaps and then being unable to work together in an orderly fashion to take advantage of their gap. Over the top of the hill known only to local cyclists as 'the Haysheds' is where the break broke off the front, they were in sight all the way in the road, even passing the Kelly homestead. In hindsight I should have been on the radar at this point, as this was the first time all day that a group had help their gap, but for some reason it never registered in my mind. Passing Abbey Stores in Carrick, the break had 1 minute and 40 seconds on the main bunch, a bunch that included Sam Bennett's yellow jersey. The back road from Carrick to Clonmel is very heavy, and littered with drags and potholes. It gets very fast after passing Kilsheelan, but the surface still saps the legs so the best place to be on this stretch of road would be in the top 15 riders. The riders who had missed Bennett's bid to bridge across were jumping left and right trying to get out of the bunch's vacuum, but without success. By the time we reached the finish line, the yellow jersey had cut 1 minute 20 seconds out of the original gap by riding across to the second group on the ride and going straight by them, blowing them all out of the water. 

Observing the rare breed that is Cian Dwyer - "And here we see the Cianacus Dwyericus in action..."

Having gotten around "Ballymac" in 2 hours and 7 minutes, we now had less than 6 hours to recover for the evening's criterium around the twisting 2.1 kilometre circuit that the organisers had selected. My legs were a little worse for wear after the previous two stages, but the pre-race chat had confirmed that my opponents and fellow sufferees were much the same. I did 15 minutes, and brought the heart-rate up progressively to ensure that I was both warmed-up and loose for the 45 minute effort. We were given 2 neutral laps of the course before the smaller sprockets would be engaged and the chains would squeal in delight. I started the race in the top 20 riders in the 140-strong field. I didn't look behind me at all, but I'm told that there were bodies everywhere right from the start. Now, as aforementioned I'm no mean sprinter, I can hardly do it when I'm fresh. So with 130 hard race miles in my legs my gallop was severely compromised. After about 5 laps, the riders in front of me were coming out of the corners much faster than I could, which meant I was making up the ground under braking into the bends. So while they had gotten all their braking out of the way before the turn, I was braking later and harder, trying to make up the ground. I'd make up the ground but then they'd gap me coming out of the bend again. This went on and on for the duration of the race. The way to conserve energy in a criterium is to be as smooth as possible, and I wasn't smooth at all. With 10 minutes to go, there was a crash coming out of Turn 2. I counted 5 riders on the deck, plus 10 or 15 that had been held up in the calamity. I kept going up to the pits, despite numerous protests by riders to slow down because we'd get a lap out. I didn't want to slow down, and felt neither should they as when they slowed down it would give dropped riders a chance to get into the group and claim that they too were held up in the crash. And that's exactly what happened. 30 riders rolled into the pits claiming laps out and rejoining the main field. When the main bunch passed us, they came past us like we were stopped at the side of the road, sipping coffee. Within 1 corner of rejoining the field, I was back to getting gapped on the straights, braking harder into the bends and then getting gapped again. With 2 laps to go, I had nothing left to close the gaps anymore, the gap grew coming out of the bend, I held it for 200m but just couldn't close it. The course then dragged up to Turn 3 and it went from a gap to a split to gone. I was empty. The group that was 45 seconds behind me with 3 kilometres to go caught me and passed me. I finished Man No. 6 in the 6-man group, 1 minute behind the bunch, and dead. 

Ow.

I was looking forward to Stage 4 in the sense that it was the hardest stage, and the longest stage. And I wasn't looking forward to it in the sense that last night's stage had left me in pieces. A blood-stained chamois was not a welcome sight after Stage 3, and now 80 miles awaited me. Even warming up before the stage was tough, I think I did the whole thing either out of the saddle, or sitting right on the nose. It was a bit early in the day to be that far forward on the saddle. The first 30 miles of the stage really were hell. Imagine the pain of slamming a door directly on your fingernail, then you'll know the pain I was in for the first hour of the race. Apparently I have a "saddle sore face", which can be picked out in the bunch. And at this stage I still had 50 miles to race/survive. I'd like to say that my legs weren't good enough, at least then I'd know that I had done all I could to finish. But it wasn't. I can handle pain in my legs, but the saddle sore pain was too much. I made it to the bottom of 'The Vee' before calling it a day. I was so gutted I even forgot to turn my Garmin off. Checking over the stats, I hit 60.8 miles per hour. 

Last shot of my on the bike before packing

Shifting uncomfortably in the seat of the team car following the race up the summit finish of 'The Nire', which was actually 'Powers The Pot', Sam Bennett not only defended his yellow jersey, but did so in style by winning the stage, just as I watched him demolish the local field five years previous in a league race. I'm pretty sure 2008 was the year in question, and Dad and I stood at the cross where the race would bear right. Bennett was already well clear of the bunch, but still looked to be putting in little or no effort whatsoever. 2 minutes passed before we saw a single soul on the road, by the time Sam had reached the summit, he had extended his lead to 3 minutes. Were we to know that we were looking at Ireland's next big thing? I certainly wasn't. I was only 13! My mind was too busy thinking of the biscuit cupboard at home than to take in what I was seeing.

5 years later, little much has changed. Sam is still top of the tree, but this time I'm taking in my surroundings rather than Custard Creams. Who knows where he'll be in the 5 years time? 

Seán.